& So I Partied Like a College Kid & I'm Not in College Anymore

Friday I partied like I was still in college. My former roommate was celebrating her 22nd birthday and her upcoming graduation. I'm pretty sure sleeping on the tiny little couch in her living room hurt my back. It was fun though. It's not the first time I've crashed on a friend's couch and probably won't be the last especially since my best friend seems to be having some sort of mid life crisis now a days. I'm gonna have to give her a call to see what's up with her life. Today's been kind of a chill day especially after Friday's festivities. I've realized that I cannot party like I used to. I usually expect the partying to be over at 2AM since most of the nightlife closes at 2AM in Pittsburgh but no we went back to my girlfriend's house and took shots, drank beer and had a great time. I definitely think it was worth it.

i♥Candy
[The life through the lens of my iPhone]

Me and Day [Dana] she was one of my roommates in college. We had a ball


I was drinking beer & I rarely drink beer. I think it tastes icky.

I'm pretty sure I have carpal tunnel in my right wrist. It wouldn't surprise me you know.

& What's in My Closet now a Days

This was a fit I wore to an interview. I didn't get the job, but I looked and felt fabulous.
(Peplum Top; Macy's $14, Bottoms Burlignton $10, Blazer $7 Rue21)

This peplum top was $14 from Forever21. I love Forever21 Online.

Batman Top: $14 Rue21, Ring duo GoJane: $10 Shoes $39  GoJane, Jeans: Rue21 $20

Got this white top from GoJane for $7 and these leggins were about $20 I couldn't pass them up.

FYI: I'm challenging myself not to buy any shoes or clothes this month and I'm doing a great job. I'm shocked. It feels weird though not getting any mail.

& I Was Supposed to Blog Today but life happened.

I spent most of today playing with my little munchkins and by munchkins I mean my nine year old nephews. I insisted we play soccer and quickly called time out coming to the realization that I'm not in shape. We had fun though.

& Other Realizations
I've been talking to my ex again lately. We've been on and off and on and off for seven years now and we've both realized that we don't exactly exhibit great relationship skills because growing up we didn't exactly have great examples of it. We're just friends now. Friends who ask their ex girlfriend to proofread their paper three minutes before class and write a conclusion paper. We're just friends who still end conversations with "I love you"s. We're dysfunctional at it's finest. I'm supporting his decision to pursue schooling while he's in the Navy. He's going for law. It's actually ironic because when I met him in junior high he was actually on the other side of the law. He wants to come to town to visit. I told him it would be amazing. I want to go back do Cali to visit. We can't move on until we've come to a conclusion. Right now the book of us is unfinished making it hard to start another with someone else.

& Oh yeah I got a job finally
I have a job. I start May 28th as a Americorps member. It's a nonprofit like the peace corps but instead I'm helping people in communities close to home. I'm hoping I'm placed in my community because I'd be working with kids at the library and it's within walking distance of my house. It's a summer job but my life shall be figured out by then right?

& Round-trip ticket to Miami in June
I'm going to Miami in June for my bestest friend a birthday. I've never been to Florida and neither has she so it will be awesome. I'm starting to do more things for me. I deserve this trip. Ticket and hotel is already paid for. There's no going back.

Scarf: Burlington ($7)
Jeans: Rue21 ($24)
Shirt: Rue21 ($7)
Boots: Myhotshoes ($20)

& To understand me you have to meet the people I've met and see the places I've seen. These things are behind my optimism.

Watching a documentary on two police officers who give eight drug dealers a second chance by assisting them to get their life on the right path. The officers help some of them get their GED and even drives some of them to job interviews.  So far in the five months of the program, two have been arrested for going back on to the street. It’s amazing how much potential some people have but use it the wrong way. I know so many people who rather work in the streets than go out and get a legitimate job. After seeing my father destroy his life, and put my mother through hell, I could never date a drug dealer.

My 22 year old brother wonders why I’m always yelling at him and it’s only because I want him to do better than my father because he has it in him

& What I've been up to lately

I've been interviewing for jobs. I interviewed last week and it was pretty good. I'm slightly optimistic. I really want something that's a salaried position being that I have a degree and my last job was salary pay. I've also finally finished unpacking. I've been driving a lot more, sharing the car with my mother. I'm planning a cruise for October, it's gonna be awesome. If I don't find a job pretty soon I'm just gonna apply for a summer job with Americorps. The job would include helping children in my community. I love my community and I love children so I'm not questioning it all.

I didn't go out this year for St. Patty's day and it feels all types of weird. My one best friend is being a responsible adult because she has children, my college bestie went to the Airforce. My other friends, well they've been kind of sorta booed up and I'm so not about that life right now. My one friend called me this morning because he wanted me to go to church with him this morning. I'm so not about that life either. I spent the last three days with my nephews. They drove me crazy but I love them. 

I won these pants on Instagram from GoJane [I'm forever shopping there]

i♥Candy

(Photos from my iPhone)

Outfit:
Burlington from head to toe. I love that store. My coat was only $15, Scarf was $7 and the shoes were $19.



Finally tried this Color Whisper lipstick and it feels amazing. It’s the softest
lightest lipstick I’ve ever used. I don’t like the shade I got but
I’ll definitely pick up a different red.
Everyone knows I don’t wear any make up besides lipstick or lip-gloss.


blazer: Rue21 ($7)
Skinny jeans: Rue21 ($25)
Converse Sneakers: Drjays ($25)
Necklaces: gifted

Blazer: Wet Seal ($24)
Jeans: Rue21 ($15)
Sneakers: Gojane ($24)
Necklace: Forever21 ($5)
Rings: Gojane ($10)

& Words Hurt Most of All

"We didn't let it break us, we built a cast around our broken hearts and signed it ourselves "They were wrong."
"We are not abandoned cars stalled out and sitting empty on some highway and if we are don't worry we only got out to walk and get gas. We  are graduating members from the class "We Made It."
--Shane Koyczan

While watching this video it almost brought me to tears because as a child I was picked on and bullied to the point where I would come home in tears every day telling my mom I didn't want to go to elementary school because they called me names like "Charnight" and "Blacky". They called me names because I was darker than them. A lot of the people that picked on me didn't even get to know me, they saw me and didn't like me and I would come home wishing I could have lighter skin so everyone in class would like me more. As an adult, I still remember, it still hurts but I don't wish I could be anything than I am. In fact I'm sort of thankful for the people who picked on me because it made me stronger. It made me skin thicker and it made me realize at an early age that everyone won't like you. It also made me realize that being different wasn't a bad thing and there wasn't a problem with me. People that bullied me truly had a problem with themselves. I got shoved and pushed and my hair pulled but now I smile because it didn't make me bitter it just made realize how bad words do hurt and makes me aware of the things I say to everyone. You never know what anyone is going through inside.

Do you still remember the names you were called as a kid if you were bullied?

i♥Candy

(Photos from my iPhone)

Took this today. After I stopped unpacking for today. I have so much stuff.