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Name: Chardae'
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Gender: Female


Interests: Singing, Writing (Songs, Poetry, Fiction), Day Dreaming, Making New Friends, Graphic Design.
Occupation: Student


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MSN: S_H_2_B_M@HOTMAIL.COM
Yahoo: MZBUBBLEZ213


Member Since: 12/12/2004
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Tuesday, May 08, 2012

& I Must Have The Craziest Views Ever

"If women want to make as much money as men they should get treated like men too & they should have to come to work 2 weeks after birth."
"Women don't belong in politics."
"I'm sorry to say it but it's not that fact that he got a girl pregnant but he got a white girl pregnant."
"You can't have black love with a white person."

These are all quotes from people close to me. I like to talk politics and world news and I believe that women should be paid the same amount as men. I don't see skin color although my mom did say "Don't bring a white boy home", quite a few times as I grew older I grew to realize that's just how she was raised. I'm appalled that in 2012 statements like these are still repeated. Shocking enough today's government only includes 16% of women. That's an alarming statistic that means most people making decisions about women's rights don't exactly have a uterus. Sometimes when I'm talking to my friends I'm like "who are you" and "where did that come from". I was raised to respect everyone else's opinions and I enjoy going back and forth about them. I had a debate just today with my brother's girlfriend on The Kardashians as role models and she says they're great people I don't see anything wrong with them being role models. Really? If my daughter came home and said Kim Kardashian was her idol I'd have a freakin' heart attack. Every other channel includes women as some kind of object without any intellectuality at all. There's more to women than make up and our bodies. I salute the young woman that recently petitioned Seventeen Magazine for airbrushing photos of young women.That's definitely a start. 

Can you name six present day young positive female role models? I'll give you a minute to stop and think about it and while you're thinking about it be sure to check out the trailer to this awesome documentary called "Miss Representation". What do you think? 

 

& as for race, do people still date based on race? I think not! Although I grew up with the "don't bring a white boy home" speech quite often that never stuck. You gotta be freakin' kidding me and if I did bring a guy home that wasn't black my mom would accept him just as much because she values my happiness. 


Oh the Irony

& There's a silver lining to every cloud & I haven't given up hope

Currently
Revolution
By Miranda Lambert
Now Playing: The House That Built Me (Country Calms Me)
see related

 

--& Lola

I got an expected call today. The garage I dropped my car off at told me that there is a shit load of things wrong with my birthday present car (excuse my French I rarely curse). My mom said it would only make sense that my deadbeat dad would give me a dead car. This almost $400 in paying to get it started and there’s still things wrong with it. $400 was my cap because that’s how much he paid for it. It was my late birthday present. Maybe being cheap isn’t always what’s best. (sigh) at his cheapness. I wonder what my dad (my step father, the guy that raised me and I call dad) is going to say when he finds out. SMH and he was the one who really wants to buy me a car. I’m uber frustrated. Well at least it’s raining. Today’s going to be a great writing day.

---& Job Interview

I have a job interview Thursday but it’s a little far from my house. It’s in Crafton and I was really considering it to get out of this miserable place but unfortunately the car that I was expecting to be fixed by Thursday probably won’t be. I think I’m going to ask my dad could I borrow his other car until I get my car stuff situated. I’m already paying car insurance on a car that doesn’t move. L

--& Movie Date

I was supposed to retry my movie date with him yesterday but he called me last minute and said he was tired. -_- I’m like “Okay I’m patient” and he told me he would call me and he didn’t so I didn’t fret. I’m not worried I’m just playing the field. I notice when you stop paying attention to a guy he wants all the attention in the world.

I guess I’ll get back to the place I call work for now. (sigh) My life is never calm. Never a dull moment… I’m so planning a Miami vacay in my near future.

xoxo

Dae


Monday, May 07, 2012

Just Be Yourself

"I need someone who can deal with me. I need a guy who will make me see things from a different point of view. I need a guy who will make me talk about the things that scare me. I need a guy who will make me open up to him. A guy who won't give up on me." (You Know it Quotes)

Now Playing. "Get Busy" by Sean Paul
Currently. Bored to tears at work praying that one of these many companies I've applied for will call me.
Feeling. Awesome

&--First Date Jitters Haven't been on an actual date in forever and I must say it was exciting and nerve racking at the same time. I went to his football game by myself and met up with him after the game. We were supposed to go see The Avengers and got lost. So we ended up at a bar after the game where we got to chat. & he seems like an awesome guy but I won't let my guard down completely. Maybe I should let him in more and he'd do the same. My best friend told me to remember not to let my previous guy troubles affect the present and she's right. It's really kind of early for me to figure out if I like him yet. But he's fun to get to know. After the bar I got a little adventurous he was tired & we went to his house where we both eventually crashed. He's so cute when he sleeps. He wanted to cuddle and I loved that. If only I can get into his head. Only time will tell.

&--Update on Lola $260 later Lola my car is being fixed today hopefully nothing is wrong with it. I so don't feel like putting more money in it. My donor would give me a dead car for my birthday. Smh Well of to bed I go. I'll try & blog tomorrow.


Thursday, May 03, 2012

A Transparent Glimpse into My Life

A Transparent Glimpse into My Life


& Job & Lola

Well I haven’t exactly blogged as much as I want to but I’m getting better. My life has been kind of hectic lately. Working forty hours a week is kicking my behind especially since I hate the job. Never ever shall I ever be a secretary in life. I told my boss that I didn’t see myself being here for much longer. I’m currently looking for a new job and I’m positive that someone somewhere is going to call me soon.

It’s only the third and most of my money is gone anyways. I spent most of my check on getting everything settled with Lola (the car my donor gave me). I’m in disbelief that he gave me a car that didn’t run. I had to pay to get the title work done, insurance, a new battery and inspection. I hope it passes inspection or I’m going to be an unhappy camper. I’m so going to his house and explaining that I think he should give me the money for anything that needs fixed. He tends to think there’s nothing wrong with the car besides the battery. I like Lola she’s a little bruised but nothing’s perfect. She runs well.

& I'm ready to Date Again



Last weekend was awesome & this weekend is going to be better

A while back, I met this guy who plays arena football and he invited me to his game. I took my best friend and her boyfriend Saturday and we had us a good ol’ time. Me & Jasmine can have a ball anywhere. After the game, we went to Dave & Busters and it was fun! I have a date tomorrow with this guy and it’s honestly my first date in a while.  I’m excited and that’s a good sign.  Months ago, just the mention of going on a date would make me nervous and scared. I’m no longer scared to get out there. It only took a year since my last relationship.  Walking away left me crushed but it was necessary. I was tired of trying. I can’t wait til summer. I must visit a beach.

Oh I forgot to mention.
I passed my driver’s test the second time, how could I forget to blog that! So now I can legally drive Lola around. That’s awesome.


Thursday, April 19, 2012

&--Generational Stairway

(Photo taken as a kid at my pap's house. That's one of the only houses I remember as a kid)


I rarely write nonfiction but one of my professor's swears that my life is so interesting that I should write nonfiction instead of fiction. The terrible about nonfiction though is I have trouble exploring my feelings and not wanting my words to hurt others. So I write fiction and incorporate some of the things I've seen in my life into my fiction.

Standing in the front hallway the focal point was always the dark wooden panels that went all the way up the stairs. The texture was smooth and if the sun was beaming in you could sometimes see your reflection. They only stayed that shiny because my mother was constantly insisting that me and my two brothers cleaned it. She would hand us a bottle of Old English furniture polish and a rag and told us we had to do our share. Sometimes we’d clean it really quickly, but most of the time it seemed to take forever.

            Pappy’s house fascinated me. Every time I walked down those stairs, I’d stop and gaze at the huge stain glass window located near the first landing. That landing was also where I passed out during a freak medical accident. After being treated like a human guinea pig no one ever figured out why I passed out. It was just something that happened occasionally. The window panel was so thick you couldn’t see out of it and no one could see in it.  It was splashed with so many shades of yellow, blue, green and red. I loved to feel the smooth cold glass window against my fingers. Even on a warm summer day that window was guaranteed to be cool.  Who knew years later the house would fall to pieces and a thief would steal the window.  At least that’s how the story goes.  This was the same house my uncle caught  on fire as a kid because he wanted to make a tent out of his blankets and a window fan. The same uncle stood at the very bottom of the stairs and washed my little brother’s mouth out with soap because he would curse. Kids couldn’t say bad words.

            These were the stairs that we would use, wrapped in blankets and dragging each other down them as kids. We thought that was fun. My mother thought we were crazy; it was exciting to play on the stairs. The same stairs we would down every day to go to school.

            These stairs had been around for so long but they were far from worn. They had connected more than generations but held a family together. My mother walked down these same stairs when she went to school. She’d smear her finger prints on the wooden siding not knowing that her kids finger prints would cover hers.

            These stairs don’t have any foot prints or finger prints anymore. They don’t get much traffic since my pap had passed away and left the house to my uncle. I imagine they are cold and lack the love and laughter. They yearn for attention. I would love the opportunity to polish the wooden panels now, a chance to run my fingers over its smoothness.

            The stairs seemed to symbolize my pap. He was always connecting the family and holding them together, that’s why his house was always a safe place for anyone. Even if you weren’t family his house treated you so. It was a family treasure so polished and bright. Like pappy, that house loved everyone. Now no one is there to love it.

 

Who knows I might continue to post a little more of my work on my Xanga blog. I don't share my writing that often for some reason I hide all my nonfiction.

         



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